none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
