I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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