Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
