You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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