i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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