she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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