I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
