dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
