apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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