The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
