Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hippo gnu deer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
