i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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