just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
