just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My life is pants optional.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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