hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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