Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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