So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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