How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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