I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
