ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
