i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i dont even know how to be here
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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