i already hear my dad disowning me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
