I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
