Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
