he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
