Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
vagina is talking i cant
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
