Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
