I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
