Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
