so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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