She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
