I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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