How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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