hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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