i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize