Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
