i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
