She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
