She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
