when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
