I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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