Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize