I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
