I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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