I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
sick fucks of a feather flock together
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
