i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
