I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
