woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
