he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
