quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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