Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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