I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You made out with two different species that night
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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