If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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