They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize