Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
