P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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