wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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