I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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