I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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