I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
