i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
