Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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