I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
