How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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