Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
