Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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