Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
