On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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