yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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