The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
