belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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