he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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